I’ve been going through some old emails today and found this in one that my dad sent. It’s un-baahhhhh-lievable!
What the fuuuuuck.
That was… what did I just - it’s worth the watch okay!
“Long-lasting smoothness so you could sloop a day or two”
Bitch, please. I hardly ever shave, why do you think this is necessary to put on your rasor packaging?
And by “sloop” I meant “skip”.
I’m trying to picture how one would sloop a day, and the results are both hilarious and implausible.
“Long-lasting smoothness so you could sloop a day or two”
Bitch, please. I hardly ever shave, why do you think this is necessary to put on your rasor packaging?
Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people.
Unlike most of the party games you’ve played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends.
The game is simple. Each round, one player asks a question from a Black Card, and everyone else answers with their funniest White Card.
And it is distributed under a Creative Commons license, meaning it is not only free to play, but remixing, and changing the game are more than just encouraged.The official hard copy has been sold out for a while now, but a PDF of all the cards, and instructions distributed by the creators for making your own deck can be found here.
You’re welcome, and enjoy!
NO NO NO OKAY THIS GAME IS ACTUALLY THE BEST REAL TALK
I love this idea and I want this very badly.
Best game ever. I cannot recommend it enough.
CAH?
FOREVER REBLOG.
That myth in which Loki does something completely unnecessary.
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A GIANTESS CHICK NAMED SKADI
Her father, Thiazi, went to go steal the apples of youth back from Loki who had stolen them from Asgard to Jotunheim but then returned them to Asgard to possibly be stolen back by Jotunheim
and whatever.
ANYWAY, THEY KILLED THIAZI.
SO SKADI IS LIKE “YOU ASSGARDHOLES” AND STORMS THEIR GATES
but the gods are like, “WHAT DO YOU WANT ICE PRINCESS”
and she literally says, “I’ll settle for a husband and a bellyful of laughter.”
yes, this is an adequate compensation for killing other people’s parental units.
HUSBANDS AND GIGGLES
anyway
she wants to hook up with the god Balder because he’s Mr. Sex, but Odin says she can only choose by looking at the everyone’s feet
so she chooses whoever has the sexiest feet
and LO! it isn’t Balder, it’s NJORD!
NJORD!
NJOOOOORD. Damn, that’s fun to say.so she’s like “SHITBALLS, FOILED AGAIN” and NJOOOOORD is like “Well, at least it wasn’t Loki”
and I’m like “Shut up, NJOOORD. You are just jealous.”
anyway
the gods have to figure out a way to get Skadi to laugh in bellyfuls
and Odin goes “OH LOKIIIIIIIIII”
“YES MASTER”
“MAKE HER LAUGH”
and then shit gets weird.
‘Loki produced a long leather thong from behind his back.’
why is Loki carrying around a leather thong
yes it’s actually a cord of some sortkeep that thought.
So he starts telling a story about going to market with a goat, except that his hands were full and the goat was giving him issues
so he ties one end of the thong/string/cord thing to the goat’s beard
‘So I tied this goat to a tegument…’
The word “tegument” comes from “integument”, which means “tough outer protective layer”
‘A tegument?’ said Skadi. (and the rest of us)
‘Lady,’ said Loki, ‘my testicles!’ And he looped the thong behind his scrotum.”
LOKI TIED A GOAT TO HIS BALLS.
HIS TRICKSTER BALLS.
‘OWK!’ squawked Loki, as the goat suddenly yanked the thong.
‘Owk!’ squawked the goat as Loki pulled back.
(WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO WONDER HOW THE HELL A GOAT SQUAWKS)
“It was a tug of war.”
THERE IS A TUG OF WAR GOING ON BETWEEN A GOAT AND LOKI’S BALLS
AVENGERS DELETED SCENEand then the goat loses and Loki falls back into Skadi’s arms and she laughs and marries NJOOOORD and they bang in Jotunheim and Asgard but neither likes each other’s home so they decide to have a long distance marriage
but the point is
Loki decides that, shit, when your arms are full of groceries, just tie everything else to your balls.
THE END.
When I was downtown today I swear I saw an …older woman who looked an awful lot like Pierce from Community, except with slightly more hair (but still some baldness), no glasses, and a purple blouse.
It was really uncanny.
Just picture this
But without the parasol and slightly less terrifying
persona 3: you walk up stairs at night
Nocturne: you gradually realize you hate everything.
Because someone else did Nocturne, I’ll do a game I played today.
Xenoblade Chronicles: You get destroyed by giant caterpillars
Monkey Island.
You pick up things and use them sometimes.
Legend of Zelda OOT
Kill spiders and hoard bottles. Oh, and basically everyone dies.cant figure out a way to make pokemon sound shitty…
Legend Of Zelda Skyward Sword: swing your arm around and hope link’s sword hits something.
Pokémon: Play as a small child with no special abilities whatsoever
Portal 2: A long ass puzzle game where you walk through holes and your only friend is a moron.
Twlight Princess: A game where you turn the light switch on.
Tomb Raider: Travel the world. Collect stuff. All the animals hate you.
Skyrim: Unmedicated ADD.
Settlers of Catan: it’s a board game.
